How do you talk with children about starting first grade?

Questions you can ask

• What are you most curious about at school?
• What would you like to learn in first grade?
• Is there something you are a little worried about?
• What helps you feel comfortable in a new place?
• What would you like to ask a first grade teacher?
• Who can you turn to when you need help?

When to talk, and how to open

Conversations about school work better when they are short and unplanned. On the way to kindergarten, in the bath, before bed. Six year olds do not like sitting opposite a parent who „wants to talk”, and will usually open up precisely when their hands are busy with something else.

You can open with a story of your own instead of a question. „I remember that on my first day of first grade I did not know where the toilets were” invites far more than „how are you feeling about school?”.

What helps?

Listen without rushing to reassure, make room for worries, explain what you know and what you do not know yet, and avoid promises such as „you will only have fun” or „it will not be hard at all”.

The difference between reassuring and accompanying is small but it is felt. Reassurance closes the conversation, accompanying keeps it open. When a child hears „there is nothing to be afraid of”, the conclusion is that the fear itself is out of place, and that next time it is better not to mention it.

And what if they do not want to talk at all?

Some children do not talk about it, and that is perfectly fine. Not every child processes change in words. Sometimes it comes out in play, in drawing, or in questions that sound unrelated.

You can leave the door open without pushing: say a short sentence about what is going to happen, and move on. Children come back to the conversation in their own time, usually when you least expect it.

Four sentences worth replacing

For 32 more questions for conversation, in four movements: the Geulim conversation cards.